Murphy’s Law

Our trips to Patagonia and New Zealand didn’t start out very smoothly, and they both turned out amazing… so if that trend continues, we’re in great shape for part 3 of the full moon… because pretty much everything that could go wrong, went wrong at the start of this trip.

It started before we even left.  We were up in NH for a few quiet days in the mountains before heading off to Europe, and it seems Amy left all of her ATM and credit cards up there… which we discovered as we were packing to leave.  Oops… that might complicate things a bit, but we plan to spend most of our time together, so it shouldn’t be too big of a problem.  For those of you keeping score at home, we’re now down 1 ATM card and 1 credit card. 

Switzerland was pretty...
though not the smoothest of trips for us!

We flew over to Switzerland on Air France.  Because I was headed over for work, I was fortunate enough to fly business class.  But that can sometimes be a curse as well as a blessing… I think it might have been the lobster claw appetizer, which I couldn’t pass up, even though I wasn’t particularly hungry… it hit me halfway through the flight, and I was feeling absolutely terrible.  I assumed it was my food allergy… which meant I was definitely going to be sick sometime soon.  By the time we landed in Paris, it was clear we were going to need to delay our connecting flight to Switzerland.  We headed to the airport emergency medical center… the only place in the airport where they proudly display photos of the best plane crashes in recent years at the airport.  My timing was impeccable, as I proceeded to get sick in their bathroom immediately upon arrival… (and then again little while later in a restroom in the terminal… and then one more time for good luck).  Score:  -1 ATM card, -1 credit card, and -1 lobster claw appetizer.

We figured that was the end of it… that’s how my allergy usually works.  So we boarded the flight to Switzerland… but I was feeling worse and worse and worse.  It suddenly dawned on me that this was a lot more like my mystery Patagonia illness than my allergy.  By the time we landed in Zurich, I was a mess.  I’d been sweating profusely, writhing in pain on the plane… I’m sure the flight attendants must have thought I was a drug mule gone bad.  I was so disoriented when we landed – and so desperately in need of a medical clinic – that I left my passport on the plane.  Oops.  We realized it right away, in the baggage area.  Amy asked them to check the plane… the only place it could possibly be.  Yet they reported that it could not be found.   Score:  -1 ATM card, -1 credit card, -1 lobster appetizer, and -1 passport.

So, to the medical clinic… where they hooked me up to an IV, took an ultrasound, did some other tests, and gave me some pain medicine.  (Yes, ladies, my spleen was -- yet again -- impressively large).  Score:  -1 ATM card, -1 credit card, -1 lobster appetizer, -1 passport, and -$600 in medical fees, which we’re not really sure will be covered by our less-than-robust health insurance plan.

Fortunately – though still very weak – I recovered enough to rally and lead the training workshop that brought us to Zurich in the first place (and was going to be financing the third leg of our honeymoon).  Amy set about trying to put our life back together.  First stop: get some Euros from the bank machine.  She took my ATM card and PIN number… not realizing I have 2 ATM cards with different PIN numbers.  When she entered the wrong PIN code, the machine swallowed the card, and could only return it by mail to our bank in the US.  Score:  -2 ATM cards, -1 credit card, -1 lobster appetizer, -1 passport, and -$600 in medical fees. 

Next stop: purchase a phone calling card, to call the bank, to release the ATM card from the clutches of the Banc Suisse machine.  But when she went to pay for the $25 card, the clerk actually read the name on the card (blast those Swiss and their attention to detail) – Amy clearly wasn’t David Kovick– and so they refused to release the phone card… even though it had already been charged to our credit card.  We had to return together so I could sign the slip and get the phone card… which turned out to be a replaceable SIM card, which aren’t compatible with US phones, and which they claimed they could no longer refund for some reason.  Score:  -2 ATM cards, -1 credit card, -1 lobster appetizer, -$600 in medical fees, +1 unusable phone card.

The next morning, it was on to the US consulate in Bern, for an emergency passport.  Aside from the $250 in train tickets and the $130 to replace the passport, that part of the operation went surprisingly well.  I had a new passport within 2 hours. And, when the nice lady at Air France phoned several days later to tell me they’d had my original passport all along, and couldn’t understand why I hadn’t come to claim it… well, that brings us to our final score:   -2 ATM cards, -1 credit card, -1 lobster appetizer, -$600 in medical fees, -$380 for an emergency passport, +1 unusable Swiss phone card, and +1 cancelled US passport. 

It’s not always smooth sailing on the Full Moon… But there’s always a bright side.  The freelance work in Switzerland will provide us with our first paycheck in about 6 months, which definitely isn’t a bad thing, and we’re off to Italia to spend it already on some more carefree honeymoon adventures.