Shopkeepers of Tuscany: Beware!

They never know what has hit them. 

The tell-tale clicking and clacking of our approaching bike shoes should have been the first sign of warning.  They still have time to pretend their shops are closed. 

As we first come into view, poorly camouflaged with our multi-colored lycra and spandex, we should have given them reason to worry.  Still time to lock the doors. 

We greet them with our ‘ciao’s and ‘bongiorno’s and start to ask about the ingredients in some tasty-looking treat – compensating for our grammatically incorrect Italian with excessive pronunciation and flair.  This certainly should have prepared them for the cyclone that was about to hit them. 

But for some reason, they never see us coming, and before these poor shopkeepers know what has hit them, we’ve completely wiped out their cute little pastry shops, mini-markets, butcher and cheese shops, and breakfast restaurants – leaving a path of pure devastation in our wakes.


Yes, it takes a lot of fuel to get these three bodies and these three bicis, loaded down with all of our gear, up and down the hills of the Tuscan countryside.  And we approach the task of fueling these bodies with great gusto every morning… afternoon… and night… and in all the breaks in between.

The unsuspecting owner of this shop has no idea
what's about to happen to his cute little shop



We clean out these towns with the precision and coordination of a well-trained commando unit.  Our hauls are often impressive.  You never know what you might find, and you never know when you might find it again… so we operate under the unwritten rule of ‘grab it while you can’ – I’m sure we’ll find use for it later.


One morning's breakfast haul... in progress...
This photo taken before the butcher, cheese shop, mini-market,
and return trip to the baker for round 2 of croissants.



It starts with breakfast.  This is the one meal of the day that is not particularly kind to the gluten-intolerant Clydesdale among us…  But don’t worry.  His traveling companions more than compensate.  Q attacks the croissant counter – he and Amy will easily put down 5 fluffy pastries filled with some fresh fruity goodness between them, often wiping out the croissant supply in town.  Dave is at the coffee bar, ordering 2 capuccinos for himself and 1 for Amy.  If they have fresh-squeezed juice available, we’ll get 3 of those as well.  Amy is already thinking about lunch… she heads around the corner to the bakery, grabbing all the focaccia she can get her hands on… especially if it’s filled with prosciutto and cheese.  Dave has moved on to the local butcher and cheese shop, stockpiling an arsenal of chips, sliced meat and cheese for lunch.  Amy is now around the corner at the fruit vendor, relieving them of their supply of bananas and apples for our first snack of the day.  Quang is moving from shop to shop, emptying the drinks refrigerators of every Gatorade, energade, and powerade the town has to offer. 


Dave's always at home in the macelaria (butcher shop)



We pack up our loot and head onto the next town… where – after 10-20km and probably some serious sweat-inducing climbs, it’s time for a snack.  Yes, we have our snacks with us… but we must continue our reign of terror on the shop-keepers of Tuscany… and it never hurts to supplement your snack with something fresh and cold.  Quang is not afraid to tackle his first gelato of the day at 10:30 in the morning (how else can you have a 3-gelato day, unless you’re prepared to get an early start?).  Dave puts down his first refreshing cola of the day. 

Then we stop for lunch, and the cycle repeats… and afternoon snack, and the cycle repeats. 

Jackpot!  We stumbled across the only open store
in a tiny Tuscan village one silent Sunday afternoon,
and promptly relieved them of their supply of Magnum ice cream bars.

And then we finish cycling for the day, and it’s time for dinner… well, not exactly.  Italians don’t eat until 8 or 9pm.  We can maybe get by with a 7:45pm start… but any earlier than that and you are condemned to the ranks of ‘american tourists’.   So we pass the time with a light apertivo snack… maybe a platter of fresh meats and cheeses… or another piece of pizza… or another ice cream… or another sandwich… just a light snack to hold us off until dinner.

When dinner finally arrives, you’d think we would be pretty full already… but we start with an appetizer, then a pasta dish, then a main course, and finish it all off with a panna cotta.  Of course, when I say ‘finish it all off’, I only mean until we pass the gelato shop on the way back to the hotel, where we have a night-cap of hand-made gelato before bed… only to wake up hungry and ready to do it all over again.

So, shop-keepers of Tuscany, consider this fair warning.  We’re coming soon to a town near you… and when we’ve left, we’ll have taken all of your food with us.

 Ciao, bicis!