Tales of an Ex-Peacemaker

When Dave answers that ever popular question of ¨What do you do?¨ he has taken to calling himself ¨an Ex-Peacemaker´´.  The title suggests he now causes conflict; not too far from the truth. Here´s the evidence.

1. David Kovick vs. Chilean Sheep:  When we returned from our 9 day trek through Torres del Paine we, ofcourse re-entered civilization with some cravings.  Mine: fresh fruit, a salad, a cup of coffee.  Dave´s (you can probably guess): MEAT.  Lots and lots of it.  As you may remember from the post ¨Ocho Huevos and Other Patagonian Indulgences¨ Dave´s choice of meat:  SHEEP.  Lots and lots of sheep.  Definitely one in it´s entirity, possibly two.   It was so much sheep that when he tried to count sheep to fall asleep they kept landing in his stomach and he woke up with a stomach ache.  Dinner the next night?  Lamb stew, of course.  There are reports that the country´s sheep population is at a record breaking low right now.  Chileans are searching for an explanation.



Mr. Kovick trying to eat the evidence



2.  David Kovick vs. Chilean Customs Officials: As you may have read in the post ¨Busted¨ the Ex-Peacemaker is at again.  This time smuggling in contraband- peanuts, raisins, apples, and cheese.  Customs Officials confiscated all uneaten products and completed all related paperwork.  The culprit was sentenced to a written citation and yet another. . . stomach ache.  There are reports that Chilean agriculture has been contaminated by foreign products.  Chileans are continuing to search for more of an explanation.



  

3.  David Kovick vs. the Fuegian Beavers:  In yet another attempt to cause unrest, David Kovick has been seen destroying a beaver dam in the wilderness around Los Dientes de Navarino.  His tools- two large poles used, by non-criminals, for balance and support while backpacking.   When the accused was asked why he would do such a thing, destroying the home of an innocent animal, he responded with, ¨Someone told me if you destroy their home, then wait, they will come and fix it.  I just wanted to see a beaver!¨ Mr.Kovick is a resident of North America, the place these beavers originally came from leaving many Chileans wondering why he was so eager to see a beaver here in South America.  Mr. Kovick´s misconduct has led to flooding across the nation.     



Can nothing stop this menace?



Mr. Kovick: Caught red-handed

 









 

Mr.Kovick claims to know
a few Chileans who may disagree.


4. David Kovick vs. Peace in Tierra del Fuego: David Kovick, now a known criminal across Patagonia, is now being accused of refueling once resolved tension between Argentina and Chile in relation to who in fact is el fin del mundo.   Mr. Kovick´s favorite pasttime during his travels through Tierra del Fuego, the southern most portion of Patagonia, seems to be telling Argentines that he heard from Chileans that their village of Puerto William is the southern most point in the world and telling Chileans that he heard from Argentines that they claim their city of Ushuaia the southern most point.  Tension has flared and riots have broken out in both countries. 

Wanted posters now mark the telephone polls of cities and towns throughout Patagonia and beyond.  Please help save the sheep, agriculture, land, and peace of our nations by reporting any information you may have to your local police.

Thank you.  Abrazos. . .